


Feelings.

by applemyeon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: KrisHo - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 21:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8939257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/applemyeon/pseuds/applemyeon
Summary: feel·ing

  /ˈfēliNG/nounplural noun: feelings

  1. an emotional state or reaction."a feeling of joy"synonyms: love, affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, warmness, emotion, sentiment.





	1. 1/1

**Author's Note:**

> written on 160708

 

 _"Meet Wu Yifan, the well-known 'Mr Dating Expert' right now at XXX to fix your relationship problems!_ — _"_

 

 

 

 

"You really need this, hyung."

 

"You think so?"

 

"I know so. You don't have to find another guy, hyung. You just need to bring your emotions back."

 

"But Chanyeol, can I ask you something?"

 

"Sure, hyung."

 

"Why do I have to meet this Wu Yi guy when he's a specialist in relationships?"

 

"..."

 

"Is he a Korean?"

 

"He's a Chinese Canadian."

 

"Do you think that I will be able to communicate with him?"

 

"He speaks Korean, hyung. Or else why would the DJs would promote him here?"

 

"..."

 

"Hyung, please. Don't do it for me but do it for yourself."

 

Junmyeon keeps on being silent. The taller guy who's sitting across him over the small circle-shaped table sighs heavily before putting his phone back to his pocket. He then buries his face in his arms before groaning slightly. Junmyeon pokes onto one of his arms, "Are you angry at me, Chanyeol?" The tall guy named Chanyeol, leans his back on the comfy chair and lets out a sarcastic laugh. 

 

"Oh no, I'm not. I just feel so happy because you just turned down a cool offer from me," He retorts sarcastically. Junmyeon stares deeply into the taller guy's eyes, "You don't sound so happy." Chanyeol sighs again before holding onto both of his senior's hands, "This is why I want you to get your emotions back, hyung. Don't you think it's a great idea to fix yourself? I even recorded the DJs promoting that guy. Please?" Chanyeol looks at him with pleading eyes.

 

If any customers are there in the nice cozy coffee shop looking at them, they may think that the tall guy is begging forgiveness to the other male. If they only know the real story. Just when Chanyeol thinks that he should give up, his senior finally says something that made him to show his pearly white teeth. "Where's the place again?" Chanyeol sends him all of the information about the 'Mr Dating Expert' via text message.

 

Junmyeon takes his time reading the biography of this Wu Yifan on his phone while Chanyeol watches him with intense eyes. In a situation like this, a normal person will feel uncomfortable if he or she's being watched intently but for Junmyeon, he doesn't even feel that way. Junmyeon have lost all of his emotions. How? Only Chanyeol knows about it. He met Junmyeon since high school and became friends ever since.

 

Both of them share almost everything they go through from their daily lives. There are no secrets between them. That was how he found out his senior has been crushing over this good looking guy. Chanyeol wanted to help him to go on a date. Junmyeon refused at first because the guy he has a crush on was quite popular in their school. Not to mention he was even in the same classes with them.

 

Junmyeon will become a pretty clumsy guy when it comes to good looking guys. He will stutter a lot and his face becomes pink or even red sometimes, Chanyeol notices but he finds it cute, really. For Chanyeol, Junmyeon is an adorable looking guy, especially his height. Don't get the wrong idea, Chanyeol already has someone in his heart. He was describing his senior just now.

 

And so, Junmyeon did end up dating his crush where he found it really, really hard not to stutter whenever he talked. Chanyeol was happy for him though. He liked seeing Junmyeon's smiles. Everything changed when his crush dumped Junmyeon during a date at the amusement park. Junmyeon couldn't understand. They were just doing fine for four months.

 

Why his crush slash boyfriend decided to break up with him out of the blue? His questions were answered when his (ex) boyfriend leaned into his ear and said, "I'm sorry but you're quite boring. Thank you for the pointless four months, Junmyeon." His now ex boyfriend just left him like that within the crowd. Junmyeon blinked. He didn't even realize that he has dropped his ice cream.

 

He looked down at the melting ice cream. It was somehow similar to his current situation but something was definitely wrong. Junmyeon didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He didn't feel disappointed. He didn't feel like crying. Junmyeon didn't feel anything. He didn't even feel empty. He's emotionless. He took out his phone from his pocket and dialed his junior's number.

 

Within a few beeps, his junior was on the line. "Chanyeol, he broke up with me." A loud voice yelling _' _What?!'__ was being heard on the other line and he continued, "And I don't feel anything." Junmyeon has lost his feelings ever since. Chanyeol was really pissed of course. Who the hell would dump someone on their freaking birthday? And how dare that fellow do that to his best friend?

 

Chanyeol didn't let the guy get away that easily from what he has done and cornered him in the school hallway before beating him up. Junmyeon saw the scene and didn't even stop him though, because he didn't feel anything by looking at the scene. Chanyeol was then suspended for a week. Now here they are, in a small coffee shop in the city after a year graduated from high school.

 

They're working as full-timers because they like the job (and they really like coffee). Just when Junmyeon wants to ask his junior a photo of this Wu Yifan, their boss calls out for them as soon as the break time ends. Kim Minseok, their boss, pats on Junmyeon's shoulder and tells him to smile more since his smile attracts the customers. Junmyeon smiles in reply but only Chanyeol knows it's a fake one.

 

He can only hope for the best for Junmyeon.

 

+++ 

 

Junmyeon calls to one of the staffs' numbers to make an appointment to this Mr Dating Expert. It's set on this Sunday. There goes his outing with Chanyeol. Well, he's very sure that the guy will not mind since he's going to meet this Wu Yifan anyway and he's right. He has called Chanyeol just to tell him that and the happy virus wishes him a good luck with an enthusiastic voice.

 

He throws his phone not too hard on the couch and goes to the kitchen to make some instant noodles. His small apartment given by his elder brother is so much to his liking, that's what he said when his brother asked him. His parents are living in their hometown while his married brother is working at the same city where he's at. His parents doesn't mind him staying alone and working as a full-timer at a coffee shop.

 

They like seeing their youngest son being independent and so hardworking. Junmyeon has a reason for not staying together with his parents. It's because they don't even know that he can't feel emotions. Junmyeon only visits them twice a month and reasons that it's hard to take more than a day off at the coffee shop. He also reasons that his boss is a strict person which is totally wrong.

 

After finishing his sixth instant noodle, he cleans out the trash and goes to the living room to take his phone before going to his room. He washes his face and brushes his teeth before going to bed. He texts Chanyeol to send him the guy's photo. No reply. Junmyeon thinks that the latter may have fallen asleep but it's odd of Chanyeol to sleep this early. It's just ten at the night. Junmyeon waits for himself to go to sleep.

 

He doesn't realize that his life will be totally changing after this.

 

+++ 

 

It's the day where he will meet this Wu Yifan. For a normal person, it's a common situation where he or she will be really nervous, feeling anxiety washing over them to meet someone that they have never seen before but of course, Junmyeon doesn't feel that way. He stares down on his phone where the address is and goes to the counter to find for a receptionist.

 

"Excuse me, can I know where I can meet Mr Wu?"

 

It turns out the receptionist is one of the staffs he has made a call before as soon as he sees the printings on her shirt. "Good morning, young guy. Were you the one who called last Thursday?" Junmyeon simply nods. "Take the elevator on the corner right of the building and his office will be on the fourth floor. Good luck!" Junmyeon nods before he walks to the elevator.

 

It opens just when he stands in front of it and Junmyeon steps inside. He sees two young girls chattering about something and listens to their chitchats. They're actually talking about Wu Yifan. All he hears is that the guy is good looking and hears a few high pitched squeals. He thinks that he may listen to them until he reaches to his destination but too bad, the girls make a stop on the second floor.

 

Junmyeon is all alone in the elevator. Well, he's going to meet him anyway. That's why he came here in the first place, right? Once the elevator stops on the fourth floor, Junmyeon checks himself on his phone for one last time before knocking on the wide brownish door in front of him. The door made a soft click noise. Junmyeon pushes the door open before scrunching his eyes a bit by the brightness of the room.

 

The room is white. Everywhere his eyes lands on is white. Thankfully, the person who's sitting in front of a long rectangular-shaped table isn't white too. The room is quite big, Junmyeon notices. "Are you just going to stand there or?" Junmyeon looks at the person from afar and isn't surprised at the sudden deep voice. "Come. Sit," The person beckons him with his hand.

 

Junmyeon then only sees the person's face. Junmyeon's face will be really flushing and will be standing in front of the door like a mannequin right now if he haven't lost his feelings. He pulls out a chair and sits on it before looking straight at the other male who's currently looking at him too. "Nice to meet you, Mr Wu. I'm Kim Junmyeon." Mr Wu smiles and Junmyeon would have felt that he really looks good with it.

 

"Please, just call me Yifan. I want you to feel comfortable. How can I help you with your relationship, Junmyeon?"

 

Yifan asks with a pen on his right hand as if waiting for something to scribble down on his thick book. "I don't want a relationship. I just need to restore my feelings." Mr Wu stares at him as if he has grown two heads, "I'm sorry?" Junmyeon stares at him for a while. It looks like he has to tell him everything, "My friend recommended you to me and I decided to come here to get my emotions back."

 

Yifan leans his back on the chair, digesting every word that comes out from the other male's mouth, "So your problem is... You can't feel?" Junmyeon nods. "You can't feel any emotions?" Junmyeon nods again, "It sounds ridiculous, I know." Yifan reaches out his right hand and holds onto one of Junmyeon's free hands, "Still nothing?" Yifan asks. Junmyeon shakes his head just like the latter expects.

 

If only there's a different person in front of him and he holds their hand, he or she will feel flustered or may be honored but for this guy, he doesn't. ****_Interesting_**** , Yifan remarks mentally. "So, you're here for more like a therapy session?" Yifan asks as he pulls away his hand. Junmyeon nods, "If you can't, it's okay—" "No. It's okay. This is new to me, but I'm willing to help you to get your emotions back. We'll do this together, okay?" Junmyeon lets out a fake smile.

 

Yifan is quite stunned by it. He manages to get a hold of himself and asks again, "Don't tell me you're even faking a smile?" Junmyeon nods silently. ****_Unbelievable_**** , Yifan thinks. "So, how did you lost your feelings, Junmyeon?" He asks carefully but he sees Junmyeon doesn't have any problem with it. "My ex boyfriend dumped me during a date on my birthday." Yifan winces.

 

Now he knows why but still, he can't believe that it made Junmyeon to lose all of his feelings. He even said that with a flat robotic tone. Junmyeon must have liked that guy so much. "On your birthday?" Yifan repeats to confirm it. He earns a nod from Junmyeon. "How long have you guys been?" He examines Junmyeon's face as he questions. "About four months." Yifan is amused, "Did you both take your relationship to the next level?"

 

"I was about to say it on that day but he dumped me before I could even say anything."

 

"I'm sorry to hear that."

 

"No need to apologize. I can't feel anyway."

 

"You don't even feel sad?"

 

"I don't."

 

"Hunger?"

 

"My friend told me to eat until I feel full. So I eat more than five portions on each meal even though I still can't feel that I'm full."

 

Yifan stays silent for a while in surprise.

 

"Okay. We'll begin our therapy session."

 

"When?"

 

"Right now."

 

"Now?"

 

"Yes. Now."

 

"How?"

 

"We'll start off with talking first."

 

"Talking?"

 

"Yes. I guess you haven't talked with anyone after your ex left you, right?"

 

"You're right. I only had Chanyeol by my side."

 

"Who's Chanyeol?"

 

"My friend who recommended about you to me."

 

"Oh. So, tell me more about yourself, Junmyeon."

 

"Anything?"

 

Yifan gives him a gentle smile, "Anything." Junmyeon purses his lips, thinking on what he should talk because it has been a long time he hasn't talked with someone with his problems. He doesn't even know how or where to start. "Junmyeon? You don't have to tell me everything. Just tell me anything that crosses on your mind. I'll be your listener." Junmyeon flashes him another fake smile before talking a paper out from his jeans pocket.

 

Chanyeol has helped him to write Junmyeon's interests on it even though he can't feel any interest towards them. His interests in literal arts, hobbies, favorite movies, favorite food, about Chanyeol and then finally, about his crush slash ex boyfriend. Yifan keeps his focus on the other male's expression as he hears him explaining every detail of his ex. His tone is still robotic.

 

Not to mention Junmyeon isn't even looking at him ever since he started to talk. The pale-skinned male keeps his eye contact on the table and sometimes glances over to look at the Chinese Canadian man's outfit. Yifan notices the stares though but he doesn't say anything and continues listening to him. He mentally takes a note that Junmyeon's attire is quite simple yet very much to his liking.

 

A blue-black patterned button-up shirt, denim jeans with sneakers and black hair pushed up perfectly. Absolutely very much to his liking. He then listens to Junmyeon saying that he lives alone in an apartment ever since graduating from high school and used to share the rent with Chanyeol. A tiny spark of jealousy flows through Yifan's chest as soon as he hears that.

 

Luckily, Junmyeon doesn't notice anything and continues saying that Chanyeol doesn't live with him anymore. Yifan then brings his sight from the other male's eyes down to those soft pink lips. His lips looks so kissable and Yifan can't help himself but to just stare at those pouty looking moving lips. Yifan wonders how his lips will feel like on his own.

 

"Yifan?"

 

The latter blinks at the voice calling his name. Since when Junmyeon's face has gotten close with his? "Are you okay, Yifan?" It takes Yifan a few seconds to realize that he has been leaning over the table, face close to Junmyeon's. He leans back on the chair and ignores the rapid heartbeat in his chest. "I'm sorry. I did that to test you. Did you feel anything?" Yifan covers up smoothly.

 

"No but are you okay? Your face is quite red. Did I make you angry? Did I talk too much?"

 

Yifan feels so embarrassed but he doesn't show it. He ignores the fact that his face has been much warmer than before, "No, you didn't, Junmyeon. I want you to talk because it'll regain your feelings." Junmyeon nods and pouts slightly without intention. Yifan stares at his lips again. He clears his throat and mentally wants to whack himself for losing focus, "Did you feel anything after you've talked or while you're talking, Junmyeon?"

 

Yifan is looking at him with much hope but of course, all he gets is a few shakes of the other male's head. He sighs. "Are you disappointed?" Junmyeon asks. The latter is quite curious about his question, "Can I ask how do you know that I feel like that?" Junmyeon gives him a small smile, "I look at their facial expressions and study them," Junmyeon then pauses.

 

Yifan can't believe that the male still has a flat tone as he continues, "I actually quite remember how some feeling feels like but it's really vague." Yifan looks at him with a shock expression. "Are you surprised?" Junmyeon asks blankly. Yifan only chuckles in reply. "I feel like you're reading my mind," He says while writing down something on a new page of his book as Junmyeon doesn't give any response.

 

Yifan then smiles, "That's all for today. Today's the first Sunday in this month. Let's meet again and talk some more in this three Sunday's. We'll see the how the results are. Is that okay?" Junmyeon peers up from the latter's book to see his helper who's looking at him warmly, "What will we do on those three Sundays?" Yifan rests his elbows on the table and clasps his hands together before smiling gently, "We'll do nothing but talk until you can feel." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yifan doesn't stop thinking about Junmyeon ever since the male steps out from the room despite having another client in front of him right now yet he still keeps his focus since it's his passion. The first thought that runs to his mind about Junmyeon that he's such an interesting person. He has been meeting various kinds of people ever since he's being promoted almost everywhere.

 

Some clients comes for him for advice in relationships while some who knows him beforehand in China comes for him to flirt. Yifan clearly knows and he rejects every one of them politely. He doesn't plan to be in a relationship. He loves his job too much. He loves helping people with their relationships and receiving happy news from each of his clients.

 

Ever since Yifan's parents divorced just because of a small misunderstanding when he was a small kid, he didn't like seeing couples having arguments and fights, even on the streets. After his mother passes away, he moves to South Korea and lives in a house which was actually given as a present by his late father. There was a big picture of him with his parents above the fireplace in the lounge.

 

****_At least they're together again up there._ ** **

 

It's when he meets Junmyeon, such an interesting guy. His flat robotic voice still keeps on replaying in his head. Yifan thinks that Junmyeon used to smile all day. Whoever his ex is, Yifan wants him to be beaten up terribly until he coughs blood (Chanyeol already did that) _._ As soon as his day ends, Yifan gets into his car and starts up the engine. He takes out his phone before calling his Chinese friend.

 

_"Hello?"_

 

"Han, I think I found someone."

 

+++ 

  

It's the second Sunday in a blink of an eye. Junmyeon gives a knock at the door and the same click sound is heard before he gives the door a little push. "Good morning, Junmyeon," Yifan's bass voice blooms in the room. Junmyeon gives him a small smile just like he practiced. "How was your weekdays?" Yifan studies the other male's stoic expression. "Normal." Yifan already knows he will receive that kind of answer. He then smiles, "Let's talk."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How do you feel?" 

 

"Nothing." 

 

"That's all for today. See you next Sunday, Junmyeon."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

The following Sunday.

  

"How do you feel, Junmyeon?"

  

"It's the same."

  

"It's okay. Don't forget our last Sunday." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

"I think I can feel something," Junmyeon says on their last Sunday. Yifan looks at him, surprised, "Really?" Junmyeon nods, "But I don't know what it is..." Yifan notices that the other male's voice sounds sad, or maybe disappointed. "Can you explain how do you feel?" Junmyeon brings his gaze upwards from the table and studies his helper's eyes before looking somewhere else, feeling suddenly self-conscious for no reason.

 

"It's like, I can talk to you about whatever I want because you seemed to know more about me now. I feel quite... I feel quite comfortable."

 

Yifan inspects the other male's face and the tone of his voice, "Do you feel relief?" Junmyeon looks at him again, "Relief... How does it feels like?" Yifan thinks for a while on how to explain the feeling, "It's like you're relaxed. You're released from something extremely stressful and feel so light after you've done doing something or letting out something. Is that how you feel, Junmyeon?" Junmyeon tries to swallow every word from the other male.

 

He takes his time to understand everything before he stares into Yifan's eyes, "Yes. I do feel relief." Yifan smiles at him, "Do you feel anything else?" Yifan notices a slight change of the other male's face but he doesn't say anything. Junmyeon actually looks _so_ _sad_. "No... I don't," Junmyeon says quietly. "Can you smile for me, Junmyeon?" He looks up at Yifan almost immediately, "I'm sorry?" 

 

Junmyeon says, voice shaking a little. Yifan is staring at him with a deep gaze and it makes Junmyeon's heart to race a little weirdly. "Can you smile for me?" Yifan asks again, knowing the other male's condition. Junmyeon is totally flustered by his sudden request. Junmyeon gives him a small smile just like he does always. "Can you smile for me more sincerely?" Yifan still keeps his gaze onto him.

 

This time, he feels Junmyeon's smile is so alive. His eyes shapes into tiny little line of crescents and his cheeks lifts up a little. His lips looks more kissable than ever. "Yifan?" Said male snaps out from his trance and stares up from Junmyeon's lips to the man himself, "Thank you. I hope you can smile like this more often. You look good when you're smiling like this." Junmyeon doesn't expect that he will get a compliment.

 

Junmyeon feels his cheeks are getting a bit warm. Weird because the room has an air conditioner and he doesn't feel hot at all. "Are you blushing, Junmyeon?" Yifan asks, adding a little teasing tone in his voice because damn, Junmyeon looks so adorable with the pastel pink coloring his pale cheeks. Junmyeon looks down on his lap almost instantly, feeling mixtures of emotions flowing in his head in an instant.

 

He can't understand it and he can't stop it. "Junmyeon? Are you okay?" Yifan asks worriedly. "My head... It hurts," He says weakly while digging his nails into his jeans on his thighs. Junmyeon brings his eyes upwards from his lap when he feels something light and warm on his head. Yifan already knows what Junmyeon needs to be normal again. Love _._ Junmyeon needs love.

 

Love made him to be like this and he needs the same thing to retrieve his emotions again. Yifan can't help himself but to give a pat on the other male's head. "You did well today," He says proudly. Junmyeon feels the warmness on his cheeks is spreading throughout his face. "Th-Thank you," He stutters without realizing it after Yifan pulls his hand away.

 

He then sees him writing down something on his book like always after the session ends. Junmyeon then remembers. It's his last Sunday with Yifan today. "Yifan?" The said male hums in response as he's still writing something. "Is today our last meeting? How much is the fee?" Yifan lifts his eyes away from his book, "Junmyeon, didn't I say I'll help you getting your feelings back?" Junmyeon nods, "You did—"

 

"Not yet. You're still confused."

 

Yes, Junmyeon is indeed feeling confused. He can't understand what he's feeling right now because all of his emotions are in a mess in his head. "This is only your first step, Junmyeon." He looks at Yifan blankly. "Our next segment will be still going on as usual. Unless you don't want to?" He studies Junmyeon's face. "No, I want to keep it going." Yifan smiles proudly, "Can I ask you something?"

 

Junmyeon looks at him, not sure if he should say yes or no so he nods instead. "Do you want to love again, Junmyeon?" Junmyeon feels his heart stops for a while at the question. It has been like what, two years? Two years since he has been in love. He thinks about how idiotically he falls in love with his crush and remembers the date which was on his birthday, the same day where his ex dumped him.

 

Junmyeon feels a sudden urge to scream out and he feels water pooling in his eyes. His heart is suddenly beating so fast and he feels like he could breakdown any moment. "Junmyeon?" Yifan's deep voice brings him back to reality. As soon as Junmyeon sees Yifan's worried face, he calms down in an instant. He wipes off the almost dropping tear with one of his sleeves.

 

Yifan finds it adorable but then, he feels guilty, "I'm sorry, Junmyeon. I shouldn't—" "No, it's okay. About your question just now, I would like to try." Yifan sees how his eyes looks so determined and brows furrowed deeply. He bites back a smile, "Are you sure?" Yifan receives aggressive nods in reply. He doesn't expect to see the animated version of Junmyeon. Yifan smiles warmly, "I'll tell you what we'll be doing on next Sunday. Take care, Junmyeon."

 

Yifan wants to make Junmyeon fall in love with him.

 

+++ 

 

"How is he?"

 

"How is who?"

 

"You know Wu."

 

"It isn't good to play with people's names, Chanyeol."

 

"I know, I know. I just want to know how it went."

 

"It went well."

 

"Any changes, hyung?"

 

"If you haven't realized it, then, no. No changes yet."

 

"Is he okay?"

 

"Who's okay?"

 

"How does Wu look like?"

 

Junmyeon stops wiping the table. Chanyeol sees him staring blankly on the table from the counter. Junmyeon thinks about Yifan. How his dirty blond hair will be always styled up perfectly. The thick eyebrows which makes him look scary at first but is actually a considerate person. His perfectly sculpted nose. His thick and plush lips and his dark yet somehow soothing orbs.

 

Oh he forgets about his deep bass voice. Junmyeon feels his cheeks getting uncommonly warm from remembering yesterday's compliment. "Oh my God. Are you _blushing?_ " Chanyeol asks who's totally shocked by the changing colors of the shorter male's cheeks. "I'm not," Junmyeon denies as he continues to wipe off the table and turns to the other side so that Chanyeol can't see his face.

 

He then picks up the empty plastic cups and throws it into the trash bin outside the coffee shop, purposely avoiding the taller guy. Chanyeol is still surprised but he can't help himself to let out a snicker. A customer enters the coffee shop and the conversation is put to halt as Chanyeol takes her order. "What did you do with him, hyung?" Chanyeol asks him as there's currently no one in the cozy coffee shop.

 

Their boss is most probably sleeping in his office. Junmyeon sits across him just like always during their break time, "We met for four Sundays. We didn't do anything but talked." Chanyeol raises a brow up curiously, "Just talked? What did you talk about? I thought I was a good listener?" He states sadly. "You _are_ a good listener, Chanyeol." Said male grins widely.

 

He then continues listening to Junmyeon. "He just wants me to talk more so that I can regain my feelings." Chanyeol leans closer to him excitedly, "Did it work?" Junmyeon only nods in silence. "Really?! You can feel now?!" Junmyeon covers the taller guy's mouth from making too much noise. Without his realization, he _worries_ that Chanyeol's loud voice will wake their boss.

 

"Hyung, tell me. Please," Chanyeol begs after he pulls away his hand. "I did get my feelings back but it's all in a mess," Junmyeon taps on the table with his fingers and continues, "When something happens, my feeling gets mixed up. It's like I don't exactly know what or how to feel at the moment." Chanyeol studies the elder male's face and notices his face actually looks... Junmyeon's face actually looks _sad_.

 

"Then? Did Wu tell you anything?"

 

Junmyeon nods in reply, "He told me we'll be doing something else next Sunday. He said that I'm still confused so he wants to help me until I'm okay." Chanyeol senses a small tone of happiness in his voice. He can't believe that this Wu is actually bringing back the usual Junmyeon. Junmyeon stands up as a new customer has arrived. "Hyung, did he say anything else?" Junmyeon looks at Chanyeol before smiling _brightly_.

 

Chanyeol is totally shocked as hell.

 

"He told to me to smile more often."

 

+++

  

Junmyeon gets a text on Saturday during his night shift. Chanyeol notices the frown on his senior's face and goes towards him, "Hyung?" Chanyeol backs away from him a little because the frown is still there. "Hyung, what's wrong?" He asks in worry because Junmyeon actually looks _so_ _angry_. It's unusual to see his senior who's slowly getting back his feelings since he was used to see a stoic-faced Junmyeon for a year.

 

Chanyeol carefully approaches him again as the elder male stares back at the phone sharply. "Hyung?" He sees Junmyeon sighing while putting back his phone into his barista apron. "They've cancelled the appointment for tomorrow," He says _sadly_. Chanyeol smiles in an instant. He thought something bad has happened. "Are you sad, hyung?" Junmyeon looks at him confusingly.

 

Chanyeol almost squeals in surprise by the new expression coming out from him. "I'm not sad. I just feel... I don't know. I really don't know." Chanyeol runs a hand on his back because Junmyeon looks like at the edge of _crying_. He already feels terrible seeing Junmyeon like this, "Are you okay, hyung?" Junmyeon leans into his junior's chest weakly, his head hurts like the last time when he was having a session with Yifan, "I've said to you before, right? When something happens..."

 

He leaves his sentence hanging as he clutches onto the taller man's shirt when he feels a thud in his head. "Your feelings gets mixed up? Is it? Does your head hurt, hyung?" Chanyeol continues as he pats on the shorter male's head but it doesn't give any effect on Junmyeon. It isn't like Yifan's. He nods weakly into his chest. Chanyeol walks him into a nearby table and makes him sit properly on the chair, "Sit here and wait for me, hyung. I'll clean up and I'll send you home."

 

Before he wants to protest, Chanyeol quickly leaves him while taking the mop. Junmyeon folds his arms and rests them on the table, burying his face in it. He has never felt like this before. He does feel a mixture of emotions but he felt something just now. He needs to ask Chanyeol later about this. He waits patiently for his junior and after they have closed the shop, Chanyeol begins to walk him home.

 

"Are you okay now, hyung?"

 

Junmyeon nods while burying his small hands into his black hoodie's pockets. "Chanyeol, can you tell me how I looked just now?" Chanyeol thinks for a moment, "Well, at first you looked and then you looked sad but then when you said you weren't, I thought maybe you're disappointed." Junmyeon looks at him as soon as he hears that word, "Disappointed?" The taller guy hums in response.

 

He then looks back on the street. They walk in silence for a long moment. "Disappointed... How does it feels like?" Chanyeol hums again, thinking on how to explain the feeling, "It's like... Someone has failed to fulfill your hopes or expectations," He's reminded of a puppy-eyed male when he didn't show up for their first date. "Hope?" Chanyeol snaps out from his thoughts.

 

"What does hope feels like?"

 

The taller guy looks at the dark sky above him before breathing out heavily. He really hopes the puppy-eyed male will meet him again soon. "Hope is like you want something to happen. Something good, of course," Chanyeol adds. Junmyeon is then on his own thoughts, same goes to the taller guy. Junmyeon _hopes_ that they will not cancel any appointments again in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Junmyeon is almost insane that night. He wants to meet Yifan as soon as possible. He _wants_ to talk more to Yifan. He _wants_ to tell Yifan that he has experienced a new feeling. He _wants_ to go and meet him right now. Junmyeon keeps on tossing and turning here and there on his bed. He can't sleep like always. After a few hours, he finally sleeps, dreaming about meeting Yifan in his office.  

 

+++ 

 

Finally, it's Sunday. He receives a morning text from Chanyeol and reads it. He automatically _smiles_ without him knowing when he reads the good luck wishes from the latter. He gets off from the bed hastily after looking at the time which is quite late already so he prepares himself for today's session. He's finally going to meet Yifan after one whole week. Junmyeon _feels_ something stirring up in his chest.

 

He feels this _thrilling_ kind of sensation around his body when he steps out from his apartment. Once he's in the building, he goes to a fast food restaurant to have his breakfast. While he's waiting for his meal, he takes out his phone and types the feeling that he felt just now. He simply types is the word 'thrill' and taps on the search button. He reads outs the first thing he sees, "A sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure..."

 

Junmyeon widens his eyes,  ** ** _Am I actually feeling excited?_**** Hold on. Then why Junmyeon haven't felt his head hammering when he feels something? After finishing fifth his chicken sandwich, he heads to the elevator and then feels his body shivering with _excitement_. He can't wait to tell this to Yifan. When the elevator stops at the fourth floor, Junmyeon _smiles_ as he opens the door.

 

The latter always smiles at the sight of Junmyeon. Junmyeon's smile left his lips as he stops opening the door halfway when he sees the sight of a tall guy hugging a shorter girl from the front. "This is how you should hug your boyfriend, get it?" Junmyeon hears the deep bass voice of Yifan's and the latter lets go of his grip from the young girl. The girl nods enthusiastically, "Thank you, Mr Wu!"

 

Yifan smiles at the sight of the girl who's beaming brightly. Junmyeon quickly hides outside the door and sees the girl going her way to the elevator. Junmyeon _feels_ something throbbing in his chest. Just when he wants to think deeply on what he feels right now, he hears his phone ringing in his pocket. _"Junmyeon? Are you outside?"_ Junmyeon gulps the lump in his throat without him knowing.

 

He walks inside to the latter's room bravely and misses the smile on Yifan's face. Yifan wonders what's wrong. He then thinks that maybe Junmyeon has witnessed the scene just now but that is just his guess. "Junmyeon? Is something wrong?" He starts. Junmyeon fidgets on his seat, still haven't looking at the latter ever since he sat on the chair. He _feels_ something throbbing again in his chest as soon as he hears the question.

 

He feels so _stuffy_ inside and all he wants it's to just _stop_. Junmyeon doesn't know what he was feeling, so he decides to just be honest with Yifan, the 'excitement' has long gone once he witnessed the sight of Yifan hugging the girl. "I saw... What you both did just now..." Yifan is right. Junmyeon did see him just now. "Then?" ****_Then?_**** Junmyeon feels like _screaming_ at him for asking that.

 

He doesn't know the reason either. Junmyeon suddenly _feels_ something again. This time he feels like letting out a grumble. He feels like if Yifan asks him the same question again, he will _snap_ at him and _leave_ the place in an instant. He also feels like pulling his hair out in frustration because it's obvious, right? Junmyeon doesn't like seeing him hugging a random girl because Yifan knows him _better_ than that girl.

 

He wonders if Yifan does this to his other clients. "Junmyeon. Relax. Breathe in. Breathe out. Can you hear me?" Junmyeon snaps out from his thousands of thoughts and stares up to the latter. Junmyeon doesn't even realize that he's been huffing and gasping for air. A sudden weird feeling of calmness washes his mind and body when Yifan places his palm on his forehead.

 

Junmyeon blinks as he's brought back into reality. "You're flushing, Junmyeon. Are you not well?" Junmyeon shakes his head. "Junmyeon, what's wrong? Why are you not talking?" Junmyeon lets his instinct take over, "I don't know! I just _don't_ know, okay?! Just... Help me..." Yifan is taken aback by his sudden outburst. He doesn't expect to see Junmyeon crying on his desk in the next few seconds.

 

True, he has seen his clients crying before and he feels pity for them but for Junmyeon, he actually feels worried. "Junmyeon..." He doesn't receive any reply. Yifan actually feels hurt seeing the view in front of him. He can't imagine that Junmyeon makes him feel like this. He leans on the table and carefully starts to run his fingers through Junmyeon's short black locks.

 

Junmyeon doesn't know why he's crying now. It has been awhile he feels something wet pooling his eyes until it flows out. Maybe his head hurts so much but why doesn't he feel like this earlier in the morning? He's done crying now but he feels something holding him back from looking up to face the latter. An intense feeling of discomfort makes him feel like wanting to hide his face forever in his arms.

 

Yifan has just witnessed his sudden outburst and Junmyeon doesn't know how to explain it to him. Or should he not? He feels a warm palm on his head and Junmyeon instantly brings his eyes upwards to the latter. Yifan smiles warmly at him. He quickly leans back to wipe his wet eyes and damp cheeks. He then stares down at his lap. Junmyeon feels okay now, "I'm sorry. I just— I felt my head hurts too much."

 

Yifan smiles again, "That's not it, right?" Junmyeon stares up again. Yifan is looking at him with a knowing look. Looks like he found out. Well, serves him right for telling everything about him to the latter. Junmyeon can't even lie to him now, "I-I actually felt something else too..." Junmyeon feels his cheeks are getting warm. Yifan notices the pastel pink color on his cheeks, "What is it?"

 

Yifan smiles when the pastel pink turns darker and holds back the urge to cup those apple cheeks. "I... I didn't like it when I saw you hugging that girl..." Junmyeon says honestly because he _wants_ to know what that feeling is. "Were you feeling irritated?" Junmyeon nods even though he doesn't even know how does it feels like. "So you were angry?" Junmyeon heard that word before.

 

It's when they have cancelled the appointment last week. Chanyeol has mentioned that word before. Junmyeon nods again. Yifan bravely lifts the pouting male's face by his chin with his two of his fingers, "Were you jealous, Junmyeon?" Yifan really wants to kiss him when the pout is still there but he holds back forcibly. "Je-Jealous?" Junmyeon blinks by the sudden closeness between them.

 

"You'll feel jealous when someone you like gets too close with someone else."

 

Junmyeon blinks twice, trying to digest his words. Then, he feels his whole face getting warm. His heart has never _ever_ raced like this before. Junmyeon stays silent as both of them gaze into each other's eyes. "Do you like me, Junmyeon?" ****_Because I really, really like you._**** He asks seriously and studies Junmyeon's facial expression. Junmyeon pulls away from him before covering his face with his hands.

 

His feelings are in a mess again. Just like a week ago on their previous Sunday. He feels his body shivering, hands trembling and heart still racing incredibly fast. Yifan thinks he shouldn't have asked that. He wants to apologize but halts on his speech when Junmyeon stutters to talk. "I-I... I like— I don't— I might... I-I don't k-know, Yifan. My head re-really hu-hurts right now," He ends his rambles with a sniffle.

 

Yifan looks at him worriedly and he just wants to cradle Junmyeon's small face within his palms. He reaches out a hand to Junmyeon but stops halfway when the smaller male looks up at him. "D-Do y-you li-like me, Yi-Yifan?" It takes a few seconds for Yifan to actually understand what he says. He doesn't reply but smiles instead, "Do you want to find out, Junmyeon?" Junmyeon wipes his nonstop tears flowing out like waterfall.

 

He looks at Yifan intensely. "If you want to start loving someone, you must understand him or her fully first. I would like to be your experiment buddy." Junmyeon thinks for a while. He doesn't notice the fact that Yifan hasn't answer his question. His body was a total wreck just now from the latter's question. He doesn't know why it has this kind of effect on him.

 

He doesn't even know that he _likes_ Yifan or not because he _doesn't know_ that feeling. His heart races at the thought and Junmyeon feels _so _frustrated__ on why he doesn't know anything about it. He then thinks about the offer of accepting Yifan as his experimental buddy. If Junmyeon declines his offer, he will not see Yifan again for sure after this, right? He nods as an agreement and Yifan smiles.

 

"Do you want to go out to take some fresh air?"

 

He suggests since Junmyeon looks so tired by breaking down a moment ago. Junmyeon nods as he wipes his tears with his sleeves again before standing up. He thinks that Yifan will follow him but no. He's still sitting on his chair and is currently looking at him with the charming smile of his. "Come again in an hour, Junmyeon. I have another client after this." Junmyeon looks slightly surprised at him and sees Yifan smiling at him again.

 

"We're not done yet."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

"Is it okay if I ask you what did you feel just now, Junmyeon?"

 

"..."

 

"Did I force you to come again? You can go anytime you want, Junmyeon."

 

"No. I just... I just find it weird."

 

"What is?"

 

"What I felt earlier."

 

"You know you can tell me, right?"

 

"I know. I know but... I think I need some time. I can't exactly tell what I felt..."

 

"Okay, then. Shall we start our segment?"

 

"I thought it was over already?"

 

"Actually, we haven't start at all."

 

"Eh?"

 

"It's just started."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yup."

 

"So... What are we going to do?"

 

"Do you want to love again, Junmyeon?"

 

"Yes..."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yes. I'm sure."

 

"Let's start, then. Are you ready?"

 

"Yes."

 

"The first thing in a relationship you need to know is get to know someone. Do have anyone you feel attracted to right now?"

 

Yifan focuses the other male's face while he asks that. "No..." He holds back a smile and maintain his serious face, "It's okay. Like I said, you can use me as your experimental buddy. Let's just say you like me but you don't know what to do. Is that okay with you?" Junmyeon thinks for a while. Even if he really likes Yifan which he doesn't know yet, maybe he can pretend that he can like him?

 

Maybe he will know what he really feels about Yifan soon. He needs another breakdown to confirm his doubts. "Okay," Junmyeon answers confidently. Yifan busies himself as he writes something on the book and then peers up to the daydreaming Junmyeon, "Hey." Junmyeon jumps on his seat as he hears the voice and has his head down automatically as if he's used to do that before.

 

He then hears a chuckle and he bows his head even more. "Junmyeon, look at me." He obeys and could've melted by the warm stare of the latter. "Do you want to learn more about me?" Junmyeon is totally taken aback, "What?" Yifan smiles calmly, "Secondly, you need to learn about someone if you want to love someone." Junmyeon nods understandingly.

 

"Ask me any question about me, Junmyeon. I really like you and I know almost everything about you already so in exchange, you can ask any question."

 

Junmyeon gulps. He guesses that Yifan is starting his job as his 'experimental buddy' and gets along with it, not knowing that the latter is actually telling the truth. Yifan is slightly disappointed but he has patience. He can handle more than this. He knows he will have patience. Yifan then answers each and every question of Junmyeon's and anticipates more as time goes by just like that.

 

 

 

 

 

  

Both of them know more about each other know. Junmyeon finally understands the reason of the latter's fluent Korean. He also knows about the latter's parents. He apologizes for that because he knows he should be feeling bad for asking about his late parents. Yifan tells him to stop apologizing. "I'm really sorry for cancelling last week's appointment," He sees Junmyeon's face brightens as if he remembers something.

 

"I actually felt something that day."

 

Yifan stares at him, totally surprised. Junmyeon smiles automatically at this, "Chanyeol told me that at first I looked angry and then sad and then... I cried. I found out that I actually felt disappointed," He finishes with a smile but Yifan looks at him guiltily but he covers up with a smile. He's quite happy that Junmyeon has feel something new again but he feels guilty for making Junmyeon to cry.

 

Just when he wants to say something, the door opens widely and there stands a short lady which is Yifan's assistant. Junmyeon recognizes her. She's the one who he met at the first day and asked her help before. "Sorry to interrupt you, Yifan, but there's the same guy waiting for exactly ten minutes now. You know who it is." Junmyeon hears Yifan laughs softly and looks at him.

 

"Is it Heechul hyung again? Gosh. He really needs to control his temper or else he won't get married at his age."

 

The lady laughs too and then notices Junmyeon is listening to him. "Can't you keep our mouth shut? You can't be reckless talking about someone when you still have your client in front of you." Junmyeon looks back and forth by the sudden informal speech from the lady. Yifan chuckles, "Says the one who suddenly barges in without warning and disturbing my time with _my_ client." 

 

The lady scoffs at this, "Well I wouldn't be here if that Heechul keeps on pestering me to meet you! He must be cursing you right now for being so late." Junmyeon suddenly feels like he doesn't belong there because yes, they do took a lot of time by getting know each other. Yifan understands his situation almost immediately, "Tell him I'll call him in a while. Thanks, Sunny noona." She groans a little before walking out from the room. 

 

"I-I'm sorry. I should be leaving now," Junmyeon stands up from his seat and turns towards the door. "Junmyeon." He turns back to the latter. "I'm really sorry for cancelling the appointment. I'm glad that you have discovered a new feeling by yourself. You did well." The male doesn't say anything but Yifan earns a faint blush. "I hope after another two Sundays, I will be able to bring your usual self as well as your love life." Junmyeon smiles which looks sad to the latter. "Don't be sad, Junmyeon." He looks at Yifan. Said male smiles, "I will help you."

 

+++ 

  

"Today, we're learning about touch."

 

"Touch?"

 

"When you're dating someone, touch is really important especially when you're on a date... Or when you're both alone."

 

"Why touch is important?"

 

"That's because you can feel. Feel the touch. Feel the emotions behind it. Feel the affection from someone."

 

"Affection?"

 

"Affection is a feeling where you're fond and like something or someone. When the feeling grows bigger, it changes into love."

 

"Love..."

 

"You'll figure out that feeling soon."

 

"But-But how? I can't do it myself, Yifan. I need your―"

 

"I can't help you finding love, Junmyeon. I can only help you by making you to feel it."

 

"..."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"No, you're right. I shouldn't be asking people to find love for me."

 

"I'm glad that you understand."

 

"So what are we going to do today?"

 

Junmyeon asks. Yifan smiles, "Didn't I tell you that we're going to learn about touch today?" He sees Junmyeon becoming uncomfortable, "Please don't think the other way, Junmyeon. I'm going to teach you some things that you should do to your future partner. For now, just think of me as your experimental buddy, okay? Close your eyes." Junmyeon looks at him confusingly.

 

Yifan smiles reassuringly, "I wouldn't do anything to harm you, Junmyeon. Close your eyes. I want you to feel." Junmyeon obeys as he closes his eyelids and waits. "Don't open your eyes until I say so, got it?" Junmyeon nods and feels his chair being moved back slightly. He keeps his eyes close. He trusts Yifan that the latter will not do anything to him. Junmyeon _feels_ his heart racing without any reason.

 

Yifan isn't even doing anything yet. Junmyeon even thinks that is the latter is still in the room? It's too eerily quiet. He then feels something warm on his right hand. Junmyeon has placed his hands on his thighs earlier. Now he feels something warm covering on top of his right hand. Junmyeon keeps his eyes close, feeling his heart skips a beat at the touch. ****_Touch_. **** Is this what Yifan wants him to feel?

 

Junmyeon bites his bottom lip at this _weird_ feeling in his chest. "Can I proceed, Junmyeon?" Yifan asks carefully as he doesn't want to make Junmyeon feel uncomfortable. It's Yifan's first time teaching someone and doing this for someone, yet he enjoys it, but not a lewd way. He's anticipating for the results. He's currently squatting in front of Junmyeon so it will be easy to reach out for him.

 

Yifan feels his heart race at the sight of this beautiful person. Yifan keeps his focus. He bravely takes Junmyeon's right hand before spreading out his fingers and presses his palm against his own. Yifan can't help but to smile. Junmyeon's hand is so tiny compared to his. When Junmyeon doesn't show any signs of stopping him, Yifan continues as he takes Junmyeon's left hand does the same, "What do you feel right now, Junmyeon?"

 

Junmyeon gulps at the deep voice and _wants_ to see the latter but he forces himself to shut his eyes closed. Yifan notices that he's struggling inside. "My-My heart. Its be-beating fast," Junmyeon answers timidly. "Do you feel anything else?" He shakes his head because he doesn't know _what_ exactly he feels right now. Feeling the warmth against his hands... It actually feels kind of nice.

 

"Open your eyes."

 

Junmyeon thinks that their session is over. He opens his eyes slowly. He looks at the crouching male in front of him and is surprised at the sight of the latter's fingers laced with his. "I-I feel warm," Junmyeon blurts out. "I can see that," Yifan replies, mentioning the flushed face of the shorter male. When the latter withdraws his hands from his, Junmyeon doesn't know why but he _feels_ the warmth is gone in an instant.

 

He _wants_ it to be consistent. He _wants_ to feel it again. He _wants_ Yifan to hold his hands again. Junmyeon looks down at his palms and wonders what even made him to think like that. Maybe he's really attracted to Yifan? If he does, why can't he feel more emotions? And why he doesn't feel the headache? Why he doesn't break down like that day? He knows he felt something just now but he just doesn't know what it was.

 

Does he really feel something but he's the one who doesn't know about it?

 

"Yifan," He calls out before the latter proceeds to stand up. "Yes?" Yifan is surprised when the sitting male takes his hands before intertwining their fingers. He wonders what Junmyeon's intention is. Junmyeon _feels_ his heart racing again but why? He doesn't know the reason. "Why my heart is acting weird, Yifan?" The latter smiles by his question before he tightens the grip on Junmyeon's hands.

 

Junmyeon feels this weird sensation again. "You need to find out by yourself, Junmyeon. Should we go on?" Yifan asks, waiting for the shorter male to unlace his fingers with his. Actually, Yifan doesn't mind waiting forever. Junmyeon pulls away and _feels_ it again. He feels _empty_. He doesn't say anything about it to Yifan and decides to keep it to himself. Like the latter said just now, he needs to find out.

 

"Junmyeon?"

 

He looks up to the standing male and blinks. He never knew Yifan is this tall. Yifan smiles down at the sitting male and gives him his right hand, motioning him to stand up. Junmyeon stares at his hand for a while before grabbing it and stands in front of him. Junmyeon only notices that they're being close and Yifan realizes too, but he doesn't say anything about it. He's worrying about their next session.

 

"What's the next thing, Yifan?"

 

Yifan resist the urge to caress the black bangs which is almost covering Junmyeon's eyes. "The first step when you're dating is holding hands. Second is hugging. Do you want to know about it, Junmyeon? We can do this next time if you want." Junmyeon _feels_ dizzy. ****_Hug?_**** Is Yifan going to hug him right now? Junmyeon thinks that he needs a break but he encourages himself that he doesn't need a break.

 

He needs to find out his feelings. "I want to find out what I'm feeling. Let's finish it." Yifan smiles by the determination in his tone. "Close your eyes, Junmyeon. I will demonstrate the common hugs in a date. Don't forget to feel." Junmyeon obeys and waits again. Yifan stands beside to his right and is amazed by their height difference. Junmyeon is a head shorter than him and he can't help but to find it adorable.

 

He clears his throat and slowly circles Junmyeon's neck with his left arm. He feels Junmyeon stiffening by his actions. "Junmyeon?" Junmyeon feels his heart racing _terribly_ than holding Yifan's hands just now. "C-Continue." Yifan takes his cue to go on, "This is the shoulder hug. It's commonly done in first dates if your partner is really close to you before starting the relationship."

 

Junmyeon _feels_ like his heart going to jump out from his ribcage from hearing the taller male's deep voice which is extremely close to him. He nods silently and waits for the next hug. "Can I continue, Junmyeon?" He nods again. Yifan unwraps his arm and stands in front of the shorter male now. He takes his time to admire Junmyeon's delicate features and moves on to the next step.

 

"This is the buddy hug," Yifan says as he quickly hugs him and pulls away quickly. Junmyeon feels something warm and that warmness goes away in an instant. "If your partner do this to you at the end of your first date, it means he or she only wants to be friends with you." Junmyeon nods as he understands now. Yifan has to breathe in and out slowly. The next one is really challenging for him to do.

 

Yifan is afraid that he might actually _squish_ the shorter male. Yifan feels his heart stops for a while as he steps closer. He slips his arms around Junmyeon's waist and presses his body against his until they are chest to chest. ****_Warm_.**** Junmyeon _feels_ incredibly warm inside. His face feels warm too. Junmyeon really, really wants to open his eyes now but he doesn't want to make Yifan feel disappointed for not listening to him.

 

"Th-This is the waistline hug," Yifan stutters and mentally curses himself. He holds back the urge to let his chin on top of Junmyeon's head. "Me-Meaning... ?" He hears Junmyeon timid voice. Right. He forgets to explain about the hug. "I-It means he or she doesn't wants to leave you after your first date ends. It means he or she likes or loves you too much when he or she is too afraid to express it with words," Yifan restrains himself from hugging Junmyeon too tightly.

 

"O-Okay."

 

Yifan then breathes out heavily before lifting his arms from Junmyeon's waist up to circle his torso. He can feel Junmyeon's heart beating rapidly against his chest. Same goes to him. "This is the bear hug," Yifan closes his eyes, trying to calm his crazy heart down. Meanwhile, Junmyeon feels like he wants to _explode_. "I-I have to do something too, ri-right?" Junmyeon asks rather than asking the meaning about the hug.

 

Yifan is taken aback by his question, "Ye-Yeah. You should wrap yo-your arms around my waist if you want to." Yifan thinks that Junmyeon will not do it but he's wrong. He feels his breaths hitching when a pair of short limbs circles around his waist in an instant. Rather than feeling exhilarated, Yifan feels calm. Junmyeon feels calm too except that he doesn't know the feeling. He doesn't feel nervous.

 

He feels _quiet_ and at _peace_. "What does this hug means, Yifan?" He asks calmly. Yifan feels his stomach drops. Nervous. "It means he really loves you." Yifan leaves the 'she' because he's indirectly confessing to Junmyeon now. When Junmyeon doesn't reply, he continues while tightening the hug a little. He can't help it. "Longer and tighter hugs signal intense feelings of affection." He feels Junmyeon tightening the hug too.

 

They just stand there, hugging each other, feeling the warmth from their bodies. Yifan pulls away first when he feels Junmyeon resting the right side of his face on his chest. He will not stop himself from _kissing_ Junmyeon on the spot if the hug stays any longer. Junmyeon's heart is beating fast again after the taller male pulls away from the bear hug.

 

His tummy is doing a flip-flop and he oddly likes it. His arms and his hands are shaking after leaving the taller male's waist. Junmyeon doesn't realize that he's actually shivering if Yifan doesn't hold him by his shoulders. "Are you okay?" Junmyeon lifts his head and gazes into his eyes. He feels a thud on his head and falls into the latter's arms. His head hurts again.

 

Why do he feels like this every time when he does something or Yifan does something to him? Is Yifan really the reason he gets this kind of headache? But he doesn't cry. He needs to have a breakdown to confirm it. "Hey." A hand is on his head and Junmyeon peers up to the taller. "Are you okay? Did I go too fast?" Hearing Yifan's deep voice is so calming for Junmyeon.

 

Hence, he hugs Yifan again, arms looping around the latter's neck this time, face almost burying into Yifan's neck. Yifan stiffens at this. What is Junmyeon doing? "Junmyeon?" The hug tightens. Yifan feels so stuffy. His right hand is still on top of Junmyeon's head and his other one is on Junmyeon's hip. "I feel... I feel warm, Yifan. I like this feeling." Yifan gulps when the other male is pressing his face into his torso.

 

Yifan is downright mute and dumb right now despite being a specialist. He lets his instincts take over. Yifan brings down his right hand to cup the shorter male's cheek. Junmyeon is staring at him with a confused look. Yifan can't hold back anymore and leans in after closing his eyes. Not when the door bursts open suddenly. Yifan pulls away after feeling his lips are inches apart from Junmyeon's.

 

"Yifan! I am so done with her! I'd rather date Hankyung instead of— Oh."

 

"Heechul oppa, calm down! He's— Yifan... ?"

 

Junmyeon stares at Yifan who's now he's writing something on the thick book like always. "There's two Sundays left and I promise you'll find someone you love," Yifan says with small smile. Junmyeon blinks. Is Yifan not going to explain what happened just now? "Junmyeon?" He looks at Yifan. Junmyeon can't interpret what kind of situation he's in right now but he feels something throbbing his heart and _it_ _hurts_.

 

"I'm sorry, Junmyeon."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yifan, what's wrong?"

 

"Did I come at the wrong time?"

 

"Of course you did, oppa! You just barged in when he's with his client!"

 

"Oh so you're blaming me right now, Sunny?!"

 

"That's right, Kim Heechul! Because of you, Yifan is depressed right now!"

 

"Don't blame me! Blame that girl who ditched me just because of my temper!"

 

"I _am_ blaming your temper! Yifan, I'm so sorry for not doing my purpose as your assistant. I will tame this guy–"

 

"What?!"

 

"–and keep him under control. Don't fire me, okay? You love me, right?"

 

"There's no way he'll love you. He loves that short guy just now."

 

A groan leaves Yifan's lips as he hears the two people, his assistant and one of his regular clients, quarreling for nonstop. He buries his face deeper in his arms to let their voices go unheard. Yifan is so stupid. He feels so stupid. Why did he almost kiss Junmyeon? Why did he attempt to kiss him? Junmyeon himself might be confused right now and what's more worse?

 

The two people in front of him right now, still quarreling like little kids, has witnessed the scene. Of course he's embarrassed but right now, he's annoyed at the loud voices which are firing back at each other childishly. He sits up straight and has his 'work' face on while staring at the two persons who exchange looks before looking him in worry.

 

"Sunny noona, rather than staring at your crush in silent, go straight to him and kiss him on the spot. He actually likes you too. Heechul hyung, yes. That girl has done the right thing. Just call Hankyung hyung after this and confess to him. I wish you guys the best and if there's no good news, just date each other."

 

Heechul's and Sunny's faces turn bright red in an instant before they decide to leave him alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Junmyeon doesn't know what the hell he's doing right now. He's on his bed, crying out as soon as he reaches home, face buried in the pillow, tears coming out for nonstop. His head hurts. Not to mention his chest, and his heart. There's a tugging feeling that makes his chest to feel hurt. It feels _so_ _stuffy_ and it's making him to harder to breathe.

  

It’s totally _suffocating_. It's like he has gotten everything under control but at the same time, he doesn't at all. Junmyeon doesn't understand why Yifan has just left him unfinished like that. He _wants_ answers. He _wants_ to see Yifan again. He _wants_ to talk to him again. He _wants_ to be hugged by him again. He wants to _feel_ Yifan. He _wants_ _Yifan_.

 

+++

 

It's Junmyeon's second last session with Yifan. He feels _uneasy_ to meet him today despite what he felt last week. Junmyeon thinks that he's okay even though sometimes he breaks down with head full of messed up feelings but he has learnt to control it now. Well, just a little. Nevertheless, he ends up standing in front of the latter's room, thinking whether to go in or not.

 

Because of Yifan, he has been understanding himself much better now. He still needs a little help to fix himself. He needs to know what to do with his future partner so that his partner won't be bored of him. And so, he pushes the door open. "Junmyeon? You came?" Junmyeon stays silent until he sits on the chair. "Junmyeon?" He hears the latter calls out for him once again.

 

He glances up to see a troubled expression on Yifan's handsome face. "What are we going to do today... ?" Junmyeon decides not to talk about what happened last Sunday. He's too tired to have a breakdown right now. Yifan seems to understand him and smiles like always. Junmyeon is _grateful_ that Yifan doesn't press on further.

 

"Today we're going to talk about kisses. Many of my clients has responded with good results after I told them about this. I hope you'll get good results too, Junmyeon."

 

Junmyeon feels something warm creeping up to his neck. Is Yifan going to kiss him today? He feels dizzier than last week. "I'll start with types of kisses you should know when you're having a first date with your partner." Junmyeon doesn't know why he feels _disappointed_ when Yifan starts 'talking' about types of kisses he should know, not by 'showing' him. He doesn't get it at all.

 

Junmyeon feels the warmth is creeping up to his face now. He has to remain calm but he can't focus as he has his eyes on Yifan's plush velvet lips, "Yifan. Wa-Wait." Yifan really stops. "Is something wrong?" The latter asks worriedly. "I totally can't understand what you're saying," Junmyeon honestly states. "Is that so... Should we skip―" "Can you demonstrate for me instead?" Yifan totally goes blank by his question.

 

He looks at Junmyeon to see he is or isn't being serious. Junmyeon is indeed serious about this. "What― Wait. Junmyeon, you want me to _demonstrate_ the kisses for you?" He earns a few nods, Junmyeon's eyes showing enthusiasm rather than embarrassment or shyness. Yifan gulps inwardly. He always refused to show for his clients who requests for demonstration but the look on Junmyeon's eyes...

 

He can't say no. "You can do it like last week. I'll close my eyes and you do your thing." Yifan pulls on his collar with his fingers when he feels something warm going up to his face. "Do you really want to know...?" Junmyeon nods, "Yes. I do." Junmyeon looks so determine. It makes Yifan to get on his work, ignoring his racing heartbeats. He doesn't want to look unprofessional.

 

Yifan feels like being himself around his first date rather than the professional Yifan who helps people with their relationships. Junmyeon is already doing his thing, chair moved back a bit and eyes closed. Yifan sighs before he brings his own chair to place it in front of the sitting male. He can't take his eyes away from the human being who's sitting politely in front of him.

 

Junmyeon has such soft features which Yifan wonders whether the heavens noticed or not that he's sitting in front of an angel. He's totally blown away by Junmyeon's beauty. "Yifan? Are you there?" He snaps out from his trance and realizes that Junmyeon is calling for him. "Yeah. M' here. Shall we start?" Yifan asks, or more to himself. He receives a curt nod and a small smile.

 

Yifan smiles back too but then notices that Junmyeon has his eyes closed, "Just think that you're out with your first date during dinner. Both of you have finished eating and started to get to know each other..." Yifan unconsciously leans towards the sitting male, having his elbows resting on Junmyeon's knees. He hears Junmyeon's gulp when he takes the younger male's hands into his grasp.

 

"How do you feel?"

 

Yifan asks, voice deep. "We-Weird..." Yifan smiles, satisfied. "Wh-What should I do if my date holds my hands suddenly... ?" Junmyeon asks timidly. "Usually a guy does this first only if you're dating a guy. It means he wants to get to know more about you or..." Yifan leaves his sentence hanging as his eyes goes down to those slightly quivering pink lips.

 

"Or... ?"

 

Yifan swallows a gasp when those tempting lips moves as Junmyeon talks. "Or it means he wants to initiate a kiss." He leans back a little, now only noticing that his face is a little too close from Junmyeon's. "What should I do... ?" Yifan can see that the male is struggling to keep his eyes closed. "You need to relax. You'll obviously feel nervous and your heart will be beating fast. Do you feel that, Junmyeon?" Junmyeon nods.

 

Yifan smiles again, "Let me show different types of common kisses now, okay?" He hears Junmyeon's gulp again and holds back a chuckle. "Relax, Junmyeon. I won't do anything that you don't like. Tell me if you want to stop." Junmyeon nods. It's Yifan's time to have a mini mental breakdown because he just realizes that he's going to _kiss_ Junmyeon right now. Right _now_.

 

"Uh, this is the forehead kiss," Yifan still has the younger male's hands in his hold as he brings his lips up to Junmyeon's clear forehead and presses his lips there for a brief moment. He feels his heart racing in a freaky way. Junmyeon feels something warm... On his cheeks. He feels good though. He doesn't know why. What he knows that he likes it. He really, really likes it.

 

"Most people use this as a starter kiss when they meet someone new to express that they like them," Yifan explains calmly despite his racing heart. Junmyeon nods, smiling unconsciously. The other male notices this once he withdraws his lips and smiles too. Junmyeon then feels his right hand being lifted and feels the same press of lips on his knuckles. "The hand kiss means respect, adoration and kindness." If only Junmyeon knew that Yifan is smiling so affectionately at him right now.

 

He doesn't know why his heart is beating so fast like Yifan has mentioned it earlier. Junmyeon _anticipates_ the next kiss. As soon as Yifan places his right hand in his hold, he feels the exact soft lips on his right cheek. "This is the cheek kiss," He then feels Yifan leaving a kiss on his other cheek now, "This kiss is used to flirt, to pass a friendly greeting or to say goodbye to someone you love," Yifan smiles warmly, "In your case, your partner is obviously flirting with you."

 

Junmyeon smiles unconsciously once more, totally unaware that Yifan is smiling too. This time, Junmyeon actually feels _giddy_ and he likes this feeling. He really, really _likes_ it a lot. He almost gasps when he feels something soft lands on his left eyelid. "The angel kiss," Yifan leaves another peck on the other male's other eyelid, "Indicates deep affection. Mostly used when saying goodbye or when... When waking up a loved one."

 

He can feel Junmyeon's body stiffening at this. Maybe Junmyeon thinks the same as he does. Yifan feels like blowing up from blushing too much and tightens the grasp of Junmyeon's hands for the next one. He just needs to do it fast. "A peck is the start to spark romance between two people," He waits for Junmyeon's reactions. "How?" Okay, he expects a shy or a timid voice of the other male, not a determined one.

 

Yifan straightens up his posture. He always wants to feel Junmyeon's lips on his but he has to be patient. Because of Junmyeon, he's beginning to lose focus on his job. He already knows the reason. The reason is just in front of him. Yifan tilts his head a little so that their noses won't bump and leaves a quick peck on Junmyeon's lips which feels so, so _soft_.

 

It's only a brief moment and a quick press on the other male's lips but Yifan feels like _exploding_ already by how rapid his heart is beating currently. He opens his eyes to see a pink-faced Junmyeon. Yifan holds back a chuckle before returning back to himself. The next kiss is really challenging for both of them. "Junmyeon?" Yifan calls out. "Huh?" Yifan holds back a chuckle, "How do you feel so far?"

 

"I don't know..."

 

"Shall we continue?"

 

"Un..."

 

"The next one is really challenging. Have you kissed someone before?"

 

"..."

 

"Junmyeon?"

 

"No."

 

"What?"

 

"I've never kissed anyone before."

 

Yifan can't stop grinning like an idiot.

 

"Is it bad... ?"

 

"Wait. Don't open your eyes yet."

 

"Okay."

 

"To answer your question, it depends on what kind of partner you have. For me, it doesn't matter. As long you love it as I do."

 

"Oh, um... Okay."

 

"Let's get started?"

 

"..."

 

"Breathe in, breathe out. Just think of me as your lover, okay?"

 

"Un."

 

Yifan breathes in and out too, feeling totally nervous. It's been years he has kissed someone. To be very honest, he was going out with someone before he found his job. His partner found out that Yifan has been using him as an 'experiment' and left without hearing Yifan's explanation. Well, Yifan couldn't care less. Not when he's with his favorite client now and he's actually going to _kiss_ _him_.

 

"If your partner kisses you like this which I'm going to demonstrate for you in while, it means that he means it when he says he loves you."

 

Yifan shivers as he closes his eyes before leaning towards the other male, tilting his head a little. He never thought that Junmyeon's lips will be this _soft_. Almost like a cotton candy. He leans in a little closer and feels that Junmyeon tenses up. "Yifan, I..." He shuts Junmyeon up gently, Junmyeon's hands tightly around on his own. "Just follow my lips, okay... ?" Yifan comforts tenderly as Junmyeon keeps backing away little by little.

 

Junmyeon feels like spinning when Yifan starts to kiss him once again. Yifan's lips are soft, just like his, and it feels like he's kissing some sort of feather. He then only realizes that his insides are in a mess. He feels his body _tingling_. _Shivers_ keeps on running down to his spine. And _much more_. Junmyeon never felt like this before. He grabs Yifan by his forearms when he feels the taller male is doing something else.

 

Junmyeon's eyes are closed shut and is holding onto Yifan desperately as he can't stand this-this _adrenaline_ rushing into his system. He feels Yifan gently sucking on his lower lip and he feels so, so _weak_. As if he's melting for real. "If... If you do this with your partner, this kiss can send a strong romantic signal to them..." He hears Yifan's breathless voice telling him the kiss's meaning.

 

Junmyeon only realizes that he's also breathless. "Ne-Next..." Junmyeon feels so weak and he doesn't even realize that he's almost leaning onto Yifan now. Junmyeon tries hard not to let this-this _something_ coming out from his throat when Yifan kisses him slowly once more. Lips molding perfectly against one another. A few seconds later, he feels something wet in between his lips.

 

He doesn't know what to do but to part his mouth. Yifan lets his moist organ wandering into the other male's wet cavern and makes Junmyeon squirming on his seat as a result. Yifan feels something spreading throughout his whole face when he hears Junmyeon letting out a lewd noise in between the intense French kiss as both of their tongues meet between their parted lips.

 

Yifan is then unconsciously gets carried away, tilting his head and deepens the intimate kiss even more. "Mmh..." He loves hearing Junmyeon's voice. He loves Junmyeon's personality. He loves Junmyeon's tidiness. He loves almost everything about Junmyeon. He really, really wants Junmyeon to feel the same. Junmyeon is now practically fisting on his costly black dress shirt for dear life with both of his hands.

 

Yifan has his palms on the back of Junmyeon's forearms. The younger male seems to understand how to kiss and doesn't let him go. Junmyeon doesn't stop kissing him and Yifan doesn't stop kissing Junmyeon either, pouring all of his emotions and his passion towards the smaller male. He really, really _loves Junmyeon_. "Nnh..." Yifan is unconscious. He's unconscious because of Junmyeon.

 

He brings his lips down to Junmyeon's right jaw, leaving tender kisses along the smaller male's jaw. The other male tightens his fist on his shirt while having his head up in instinct and Yifan doesn't even notice that. Yifan brings his lips even lower, kissing the expanse skin of Junmyeon's neck since the male is wearing a soft purple sweatshirt. "Yifan..." He runs his tongue above Junmyeon's left collarbone.

 

He gently nibbles the milky white skin, palms on Junmyeon's shoulders now. "Yi... Yifan..." Yifan continues kissing up to the shorter male's left jaw, not realizing that his actions has made Junmyeon to lose his grip on his shirt, melting. "Fan!" Junmyeon shrieks in surprise when the latter sinks his teeth on his flesh underneath his left ear. Yifan wakes up in an instant.

 

He quickly leans back on his chair, examining how _red_ Junmyeon face is. Junmyeon is panting, looking at him with teary eyes. Yifan feels like banging his head on the wall for multiple times. **_I'm an idiot._** "I'm sorry," Yifan gets up from his chair before bringing it to the previous spot clumsily. "Yifan?" He looks at Junmyeon who's looking at him in wonder while caressing the left side of his neck.

 

Yifan spots a bright red mark there. He breathes in sharply,  ** _What have I done?_ ** "I'm sorry," He tidies his table in panic before walking past the male but not until Junmyeon grabs his left wrist. "Where are you going, Yifan?" He can't stand the hopeful look in Junmyeon's eyes after what he has done. "Let's meet on our last session." Junmyeon's lips are slightly apart by the latter's sentence.

 

He can't move. He wants to stop Yifan, but he can't move. "Yi― Hey, where you're going?" Junmyeon hears a familiar voice and a familiar face, stopping Yifan by the doorway. "Your client is still inside. Where are you going?" Junmyeon can't hear anything after that. His ears are deaf when he sees Yifan telling something to her before leaving the young woman who's still calling out for him.

 

He doesn't even realize that Yifan's assistant is coming towards him. "Mr Kim? Are you alright?" Junmyeon Junmyeon gazes upwards and sees a worried looking Sunny. "You look really pale. Do you want to go to the hospital for a checkup, Mr Kim?" Junmyeon feels like breaking down and he does. The last thing he hears is Sunny's scream and the last thing he sees is black.

 

+++ 

 

Chanyeol is the first person he sees after he opens his eyes. "Oh God! I was so worried for you, hyung!" Junmyeon feels nothing at first when the taller guy pulls his body into his hug. Junmyeon feels empty. Totally empty. It's kind of funny that he can feel that he's empty. Junmyeon blinks. He can feel how it's like to feel empty. Junmyeon blinks once again, tears filling up his vision.

 

He can _feel_.

 

"Hyung? What's wrong?"

 

Chanyeol cups his face and stares at him worriedly, panic visible on his baby face. When Junmyeon doesn't answer, Chanyeol understands the situation. "Let it all out, hyung. I'm here," Chanyeol hugs him again. Junmyeon holds onto his junior for dear life, sobbing out loud as he finally feels everything. Hurt. He feels hurt. Sad. He feels sad. Confused. He feels confused. Love...

 

**_I love Yifan._ **

 

"Ch-Chanyeol."

 

The said male loosens his grip around Junmyeon and spots the desperate look in the shorter male's eyes. "Ca-Call Yifan." Chanyeol swiftly grabs Junmyeon's phone on the nightstand before calling the said person. In an instant, the call gets picked up. "Hyung, here," Chanyeol hands him the device. Junmyeon takes it greedily before placing against his right ear, _hoping_ and _wanting_ to hear taller male's bass voice in the line.

 

_"Hello?"_

 

He hears a female voice instead. "Ms Sunny? It's Junmyeon. Can I speak to Yifan?" Junmyeon doesn't even realize that he's still in yesterday's attire. _"I'm so sorry, Mr Kim. Yifan is on immediate leave today."_ Junmyeon feels something drops in his stomach. Disappointed. He feels disappointed. "May I know why?" His voice cracks terribly but he doesn't care about that right now.

 

_"I'm sorry, Mr Kim. I wasn't allowed to say anything about him. I'm really sorry."_

 

"..."

 

_"Mr Kim?"_

 

"I... I need to know... Please..."

 

_" ***sighs*** He's in Canada."_

 

"What?"

 

_"He went there for a checkup."_

 

"Is-Is he sick?"

 

_"He's not sick, Mr Kim. Don't worry."_

 

"But..."

 

_"It's nothing to worry about. Trust me."_

 

"Okay."

 

_"Do you want me to forward any message to him?"_

 

"No..."

 

_"Are you sure?"_

 

"Yes. Thank you, Ms Sunny."

 

_"Okay, then. Hope you're okay. You fainted yesterday."_

 

"I'm sorry for causing trouble―"

 

_"Ah, no, it's okay, really. Yifan was the one who― I'm sorry but I have to go, Mr Kim. Take care!"_

 

Junmyeon doesn't get to reply because the line has already ended. He stares at his phone dumbly. Uneasy. Junmyeon feels uneasy. "Hyung? Did you get to talk to him?" He looks up to see an apprehensive Chanyeol. Junmyeon slips out a sob unintentionally and he covers his mouth in an instant. "It's okay, hyung. It's okay." He lets Chanyeol to hug him again but it doesn't feel the same as Yifan's.

 

Junmyeon doesn't feel calm because the hug isn't the same as Yifan's. The feeling of Yifan's lips is still lingering on his own. Junmyeon cries out as he hugs his junior tightly, clutching the back of his shirt until he feels like tearing it apart. He feels _so_ _bad_ for thinking Chanyeol as Yifan. Junmyeon can't stop thinking about Yifan. Yifan, Yifan and only Yifan in his mind. He _misses Yifan_.

 

+++ 

 

Restless. Junmyeon feels restless. He keeps on calling Yifan after he manages to get his number through Sunny but the thing is, Yifan doesn't pick up his call. Even Chanyeol tries calling the latter but it's still no use. Crying. Junmyeon feels like crying. He really cries though. He cries but still trying to call Yifan again and again and _again_. Angry. He feels angry.

 

He feels angry because Yifan is ignoring his calls. That's what he can only think. Or else Yifan would've picked up his calls, right? Frustrated. Junmyeon feels frustrated. He begins to become his usual self when he's frustrated and angry. He ignores Chanyeol's comforting words. He ignores his meals. He ignores his boss's worry over him. He ignores everything.

 

 +++ 

  

It's a usual Sunday for most people, but not for Junmyeon. He's been staring at his phone for nearly half an hour now. Junmyeon has already taken a bath, has eaten and has dressed up even. He sighs in defeat after noticing that it's eleven which means an hour has passed yet no calls from Sunny or Yifan. He begins to loosen the buttons on his white dress shirt but not until he hears the phone ringing.

 

Junmyeon literally pounces himself on the mattress and answers the call without looking at the screen. _"Mr Kim? Yifan is available today."_ Upon hearing that, Junmyeon ends the call and takes his long coat in a swift movement before getting out from his house. He hops into a cab and wishes that Yifan is there in his room as usual, waiting for him. He texts Chanyeol that he's going to meet Yifan. Nervous. Junmyeon feels nervous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

Junmyeon rushes to the receptionist and sees a familiar face other than Sunny. It's Heechul. "Ms Sunny, is he with any clients right now?" Junmyeon pants as he asks. Heechul promptly rubs his back, making him to calm down his breaths. "No. You may meet him now. Good luck!" Sunny is slightly taken aback by the bright smile of Junmyeon's.

 

"He sure looks good, right?"

 

Heechul breaks her thoughts and looks at him to see a smiling Heechul. She smiles too, "Yeah. He's totally good for Yifan. They're perfect." Both of them let out a smile, seeing the short male who's rushing to get on the elevator. Junmyeon lashes outside and doesn't knock on the door. He pushes the door open only to see a surprised looking Yifan.

 

"Ju-Junmyeon?"

 

He sprints towards the latter without a word. "Jun―" Yifan doesn't get the chance to speak as Junmyeon leans down before harshly pulling his tie and kisses him right on his lips. Junmyeon nearly melts and almost topples on the table when Yifan kisses him back. A few moments later after, they're panting for air, not realizing that they've been kissing for more than a minute.

 

A bewildered Yifan stares at the flushed red Junmyeon who's not looking at him, their faces still close. "I didn't feel a thing when I first walked in here," Junmyeon starts, heart still racing, "You changed me. You brought back the colors in my dull life. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. I can feel now. I can feel everything," Junmyeon pauses to catch his breaths.

 

"I can feel how my face becomes warm whenever you compliment me. I can feel how my heart beating fast whenever you hold me. I can feel how my body is shaking whenever you look at me in the eyes. I can feel... I can feel the love between you and me, Yifan."

 

Yifan feels something tingling spreading throughout his body as soon as he hears Junmyeon saying those while having his eyes locked with his. For a few seconds, there's silence. Yifan breaks it by standing up from his chair and walks to the shorter male. He's standing in front of Junmyeon now. The male isn't looking at him. Yifan gently cradles Junmyeon's face within his palms before slowly bringing up.

 

He hears a tiny whine from the shorter male. "Junmyeon," Yifan tilts his head and presses their foreheads together, feeling Junmyeon's warm breaths hitting softly against his lips, "I'm sorry for running away, Junmyeon..." Yifan feels something tugging on the hem of his shirt but he knows it's just Junmyeon. "I'm really sorry," Yifan rests his face into Junmyeon's neck before hugging the small frame tightly.

 

"I don't care about that anymore, Yifan. I don't care. I love you, Yifan. Do you love me?"

 

Yifan distance himself upon hearing Junmyeon's question.

 

He kisses Junmyeon as answer.

 

 

 

 

"I love you, Junmyeon." 

 


	2. [sequel]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written on 160831

 

"So you actually lied to Sunny noona and to me by telling her that you're _sick?_ "

 

Junmyeon asks in disbelief as he stares at the male, mouth agape. Yifan only looks at him with guilt all over his face, smiling apologetically, "I'm... I'm sorry? If that's acceptable. I had to find a proper reason to quit my job and I made it by faking it so..." Junmyeon looks at him, baffled, "You quit your job?! What the―" Yifan clamps his right hand over his mouth. 

 

Junmyeon moves it away instantly, "Are you insane, Yifan? What will you do right now?" Yifan leans in close, catching Junmyeon off guard as he moves away but he's stuck since Yifan has his left arm around him tightly, "I'm going to spend time with you. That's what I'm going to do right now." Junmyeon blushes. He needs a proper answer, damn it! "I'm being serious," Junmyeon frowns, trying to look serious. 

 

Yifan almost coos because he's too cute. He knows that Junmyeon is being serious but Junmyeon is an adorable person so no matter what he does, it's always cute. "Junmyeon... Please," Yifan nuzzles into the male's neck, hoping that his lover will give in, but no. Junmyeon pushes him away and tries to squirm away from his grip. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Please don't go," He sees Junmyeon's frown is still there, deeper this time.

 

Yifan can't help but to leave a kiss on his right temple in attempt to soothe Junmyeon, "I like helping people, Junmyeon. You know that, right?" He hears a huff in response. "What does that have to do from what I've asked?" Yifan sighs, "I actually have unlimited cash," He takes a look at the smaller male who still has a frown on his beautiful face. "From where?" Junmyeon asks, voice soft yet stern.

 

"My parents saved it for me... I didn't want to use it so that's why I looked for my own job and that's how I ended up being a relationship adviser. That's also how I met you."

 

Yifan smiles warmly. They're in Junmyeon rented apartment after confessing towards each other back in the office. Today is actually his last day with his work but he doesn't mind spending it away with Junmyeon. He almost grunts when he gets a tight hug from the shorter male. "You're such a good person..." He hears his lover who mumbles against his clothed chest. Yifan smiles again.

 

He adores the sight of the beautiful male when he peers up. "I don't deserve such a good person like you," Junmyeon pouts. He lets a whine when Yifan is the one who hugs him with both of his arms this time. "Don't you ever say that," He mumbles into Junmyeon's neck who squirms a little by the warmth, "We both deserve to be with each other. We complete each other, don't you think?"

 

Yifan pulls away, arms still around his lover, smiling while bringing his right hand up to hold a side of Junmyeon's face gently which is slightly in pink. "Yes," A hand is on his torso and another hand is on Yifan's face, "We do complete each other..." Junmyeon's smile is lovely no matter how many times Yifan has seen it. This time, it feels more special because now, they know that they love each other.

 

The moment when he feels his shirt being fisted, Yifan already knows what to do. He leans down to Junmyeon. The pair begins to exchange shy pecks with one another, eyes closed. There's a shy smile on both of their face, both getting closer and closer until there's no tiny little space between them. Same goes to their lips too. Yifan gently presses his lips with much force on Junmyeon's.

 

He loves the little sounds that he hears from the smaller male's throat whenever he does that occasionally. What he doesn't expect is that Junmyeon yanks him down with his arms around his neck, the petite male's own lips pressing hard onto his. "Junmyeon..." Yifan calls out breathlessly within their kisses which is getting a bit too passionate. It's not that he doesn't want it to be passionate but he feels like they're going too fast.

 

He doesn't want to make Junmyeon to feel uncomfortable. He pulls away a little, wanting to know Junmyeon's reaction. "Please," Junmyeon pleads, which Yifan doesn't expect that at all, "I... I want to be a good ki-kisser. Li-Like you," Junmyeon's face is bright pink, and Yifan doesn't know what to do anymore, "Ki-Kissing needs a lot of pr-practice, ri-right? I-I want to practice... With you... Since I've never... Kissed anyone before..."

 

Junmyeon's voice goes slower and softer, making Yifan's heart to skip a beat at the fact. "I-I'm actually glad th-that you're my fi-first kiss..." Junmyeon's voice sounds _so_ _shy_. Yifan has enough of the cuteness. He cups Junmyeon's face who has his cheeks totally red now and eyes wide before he kisses him softly... And deep. Junmyeon closes his eyes and responds to the kiss, clutching on Yifan's shirt.

 

He fists Yifan's shirt tighter and firmer when he feels something moist prodding between his lips. Junmyeon knows that he has to part his mouth. He can't stop the noise from coming out and lets them out effortlessly as Yifan begins to taste him. "N-Nnnhh... Yi..." He can't believe that a kiss can make him to feel so hot inside. He feels his head spinning and feeling lightheaded. It's a wonderful feeling.

 

Junmyeon can't help but to want more and more, arms once again tight around the taller male's neck. He feels the back of his shirt being grasped when he pulls Yifan down a little. He tries to follow what Yifan is doing and something spreads quickly throughout his body when he hears a noise coming from Yifan as the tip of their tongues meet in between their intense French kiss.

 

Junmyeon _loves_ the feeling. So he does it once again. Yifan tastes like coffee as he wanders inside the latter's wet cavern. When he feels a hand on his left hip, warmth seeps through his system as soon as he feels the hand tightens on the area. Junmyeon can't stop this feeling and doesn't want to stop this feeling. He greedily wants more, hugging Yifan and pulling him closer and closer as they kiss passionately.

 

All he knows is that he wants more and more.

 

He wants more of Yifan.

 

Everything.

 

"Jun... Junmyeon..."

 

Yifan slows down the kiss or else he'll get a hard-on here if he continues to hear Junmyeon's soft moans. "Yifan..." Junmyeon pulls away at first much to Yifan's relief. Junmyeon is panting and gasping against his chest. Yifan smiles breathlessly before he rests his lips on his lover's hair, calming his own self too. "You're so good... So good at kissing..." Yifan looks down and almost gulps at the sight of Junmyeon's hazy eyes.

 

"You're good too," He leans down to leave a quick peck on Junmyeon's lips, "You've learnt well." He brushes the tips of their nose together gently, earning a shy smile from his lover. "I have a great teacher..." Junmyeon replies, earning a little blush from Yifan himself. "You know," Junmyeon starts suddenly, and Yifan listens, "I can't believe I've wasted a month," Junmyeon pouts.

 

Yifan continues to listen. "If it wasn't because of me, we would've been together for a month ago," Junmyeon snuggles closer to him. Yifan holds him tighter in response, "It's not your fault, Junmyeon. We wouldn't have met if you haven't lost your feelings, right?" He lifts the pink-faced Junmyeon and leaves a lingering kiss which makes Junmyeon to lean up, wanting more.

 

"Mm... I should really thank Chanyeol today for making me to meet you..."

 

Yifan pulls away in an instant as he hears the foreign name before he remembers who Chanyeol is, "You're going to meet him today?" Junmyeon nods, eyes closed, searching for Yifan's lips, "We have the same shift most of the times..." Yifan caresses the male's glistening lips with his thumb tenderly as an idea comes up. "Say," Yifan starts, "Why don't I work at the same place with you?" Junmyeon looks at him immediately, "Really? You want to? People may recognize you and―"

 

"As long you're there, I don't mind at all. As for the people, I'll just tell them that I've decided to quit and spend my time with my lover."

 

Junmyeon's cheeks reddens before he smiles brightly, feeling shy. He can't believe this is happening. He will have Yifan all for himself after this. Junmyeon tentatively loops his arms around the elder male's neck, still smiling shyly. Yifan smiles back, gaze soft on the younger male, his own arms circling tightly around Junmyeon. "You're gonna stay here for the meantime, right... ?" Junmyeon asks, voice shy.

 

Yifan kisses him as an answer.

 

 ///

 

"Who's that behind you?"

 

Chanyeol questions with a serious tone, making Junmyeon to flinch. He and Yifan have just arrived to the shop in the evening around seven (after having lots of nonstop kissing and make-out sessions). Junmyeon's shift starts in half an hour so he has decided to come early to introduce Yifan to Chanyeol and to his boss later. "Um, he's Yifan, Chanyeol." Chanyeol frowns, scanning the male up and down.

 

The male then looks at Junmyeon with a slightly shocked expression. "Is he the Wu?" Just after Junmyeon gives him a curt nod with a shy smile on his face, Chanyeol instantly jumps on the taller male and gives the latter a tight hug. Yifan huffs by the lack of oxygen and looks at Junmyeon helplessly. Yifan lets out a smile when Junmyeon tries to suppress his giggles.

 

"Thank you so much, Wu! Junmyeon hyung is back to his bubbly self again!"

 

Chanyeol tightens his hug and makes Yifan to have difficulty in breathing. Junmyeon quickly notices it, "Chanyeol!" The said male releases the suffocating hug in an instant. Yifan breathes in heavily for air, chuckling. "I'm sorry! I just feel so happy for you both and I ended up squishing you..." Yifan chuckles again before waving a hand mindlessly in front of him. This Chanyeol guy is really friendly than he has expected.

 

"It's alright. Thank you for making him to meet me."

 

Before Chanyeol can say anything else, a customer comes in. Chanyeol attends to them after excusing himself. "Sorry." Yifan looks at the shorter male. "Chanyeol is always like that. A long lost protective brother, I guess," Junmyeon smiles sheepishly. Yifan smiles too, "It's alright. Where's your boss? Can we meet him now?" Junmyeon nods before shyly taking Yifan's right hand into his.

 

He walks Yifan to a medium small square-shaped room. "His name is Kim Minseok. I only know that he's a year older than me. A skilled barista who took over his father's business. Um... I think that's all you should know about him," Junmyeon unconsciously pouts as he thinks, not knowing that Yifan is holding back to urge to kiss those lips. He tries his best not to look at Junmyeon's lips.

 

"Can you come in with me too? I'm suddenly feeling a bit nervous."

 

Yifan isn't lying. He really is feeling nervous. Junmyeon then chuckles before braving himself up. He stands on his tiptoes before leaving a peck on the taller male's lips. Junmyeon blushes when Yifan looks at him with a surprised face before it changes into a fond smile. Junmyeon then looks away before knocking on the door twice and opens the door.

 

He almost tumbles backwards if it isn't for Yifan who swiftly catches him from the back. His boss is just at the door, scaring the living daylights out of him. "Hyung," Junmyeon places his hand on his chest, "You scared me." He's then on his feet, Yifan's right hand on his back. His boss only chuckles in reply before motioning them to come in.

 

"So is this your boyfriend?"

 

Kim Minseok asks as soon as Yifan has settled beside Junmyeon's left side. Junmyeon's face starts to pink a little and nods shyly, looking down on his thighs. "And he's here with us in here because... ?" Junmyeon then realizes he hasn't say the reason yet, "Oh, um, he wants to work here." Kim Minseok smiles, "He's accepted," He simply states. "He wants to― Wh-What?" Junmyeon blinks rapidly.

 

Junmyeon peers up to his boss before looking at Yifan who's also looking at him and looks to the front again. "He's accepted. I can see he has a potential. Hardworking. Just like you, Junmyeon. He can start off today. I'm sure you have no problem by helping him, right?" The pair looks at the elder male who raises a brow in response. Junmyeon instantly comes back to his senses, "Oh, um, sure, hyung. Chanyeol and I―"

 

"No Chanyeol. Only you. Chanyeol will... Chanyeol will disturb him a lot and he can't focus."

 

Junmyeon and Yifan exchange looks before nodding at Minseok understandingly. "Can I know what your name is?" Yifan straightens up himself. "It's Wu Yifan. I'll do my best to work here," He sends a professional smile. "I can already see that. You can follow Junmyeon now. His shift is about to start soon." With that, the pair bow politely before leaving the room.

 

"I can't believe it went that smooth."

 

Junmyeon nods as sighs in relief, walking towards the kitchen. Yifan turns him around suddenly and kisses him sweetly with Junmyeon instantly melting in his arms. "Thank you," Yifan mumbles against his lips, "I can be with all day or night after this." Junmyeon blushes, eyes wide, staring up to see Yifan's fond smile. He can feel his heart beating so fast and _God_ , he loves the feeling.

 

Junmyeon hugs the taller male by torso, face buried into Yifan's chest, holding back his tears. If only he haven't met this person. If only he haven't lost his feelings. If only he haven't― "Junmyeon? Junmyeon, hey, what's wrong?" He nuzzles deeper in reply, tears coming out as he shuts his eyes close. "Junmyeon― Are you crying? Oh my God― What― What's wrong?" Junmyeon doesn't answer.

 

His tears comes out more, hugging his lover with all his might. He hiccups the moment the taller male cradles his face. "I-I'm sorry, Yifan," He hiccups again, "I'm so sorry for not realizing that I actually love―" "Junmyeon." He blinks as he looks up, more tears falling. "You don't have to apologize, Junmyeon. Don't feel bad, okay? What matters now is the future. Our future." Junmyeon blushes and Yifan smiles.

 

He then helps Junmyeon to wipe off the wetness on his cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm so glad that you've restored your feelings." Junmyeon lets himself getting hugged tightly. He's glad too. He also feels very happy. "Yifan..." He almost whines when the hug tightens. "We need to work, Yifan." Yifan releases his hug in an instant, a faint blush on his cheeks. Junmyeon giggles at the sight. "I thought, you, uh, you're okay?" Junmyeon can't help but to kiss Yifan but since he's too short, the kiss ends quickly. 

 

"Let's, um, let me teach you how to make the drinks," Junmyeon takes Yifan's hand before pulling him to the small kitchen where there are big coffee machines and others. "Do you think I can do this?" Yifan asks, nervous. "Don't worry." Yifan looks at his lover. "You have me." He smiles and bends down for a kiss― "And you have me. Can you two love birds take a break from your kisses?" Junmyeon blushes terribly as he hears the voice of his co-worker, Jongdae.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

"Move in with me?"

 

Junmyeon stares at the male in disbelief. It's been already one month since they've been dating. Does Yifan really wants him to move in to his house? He's only been to Yifan's condo only once. _**That-That huge house of his?**_ His parents have already met Yifan and has even accepted him as a family. He even got teased by his brother by asking when their marriage is.

 

They can take their relationship to the next level, right? "Jun?" He snaps out from his thoughts and looks at Yifan who looks worried. "I... I want you next to me, Junmyeon. Always," Yifan nudges his nose against his. Junmyeon blushes. Yifan has been nothing but a sweet and a considerate boyfriend. There isn't a time where Junmyeon has stopped loving him.

 

It's growing day by day and he knows it won't stop. They're in Junmyeon's house after finishing their night shift, having a late night movie date and cuddles. He feels sad thinking of Yifan who will go home later. "Yi-Yifan, wait," He brings his fists up to place them on the taller male's chest when he sees him leaning down, "Will you... Will you change if I move in with you?"

 

Junmyeon can't help but to ask, curious and scared at the same time. "What makes you to ask that?" Yifan's voice is soft and worried. Junmyeon plays with the hem of his boyfriend's shirt which looks adorable to Yifan. "I... I heard that when your partner moves in with you, it's all good at first but then... That's when problems happens. I don't want us to be like that..." Yifan's face softens after hearing his lover's explanation.

 

"Hey," He cradles the shorter male's face with his hands and looks at him lovingly, earning a blush from Junmyeon. He smiles at the instant reaction. "Relationship always have problems because either one of them doesn't understand one's doing's or intentions. I believe we won't have any," He kisses between Junmyeon's brows which are upturned and feels relieved when he sees them flattens.

 

Junmyeon sits closer to him, hugging Yifan by his waist as he buries his face into his chest. Yifan can only smile widely before lifting his face, "You don't have to if you don't want to. I understand―" "I'll move in with you." Yifan blinks, "Are yo-you sure, Junmyeon?" Yifan knows that he's blushing. He just knows it by looking at the evil smile of Junmyeon's.

 

He knows that Junmyeon loves it the most when he blushes. "I'm sure," Junmyeon presses his face against his shirt, "I love you." He hears Junmyeon mumbling against his chest. He has to push Junmyeon away a little to make him to stare up at him and when he does, he promptly scoops him up to his lap, "Thank you." He can never forget Junmyeon's red face before he kisses him softly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Will you marry me?"

 

Junmyeon feels like it's been a long time where he has cried from the bottom of his heart. Yifan has made love to him on the day of their one-year anniversary yesterday night. He has woken up to no one beside him on the bed and almost panicked but not until he sees his half-nude boyfriend at the doorway, holding a small cute chocolate cupcake where he spots something shiny on the top.

 

Junmyeon knows what it is as soon as Yifan has asked him the question. He begins to bawl his eyes out, unable to stand his happiness. He gestures Yifan to come over to the bed but then, the taller male just stands there at the doorway, staring at Junmyeon. "Come and hug me if your answer is yes, Jun." Junmyeon, still crying, blushes madly, which makes the latter to coo at him inwardly.

 

"I'm not wearing anything, you giant!"

 

In the end, Yifan has gone to the bed and is showered with kisses after he has placed the ring into one of Junmyeon's fingers, cupcake long forgotten by the nightstand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another one year later, the pair is waiting in front of the kindergarten for someone.

 

"Where is she?"

 

"I'm sure the teacher hasn't let them out yet."

 

"Ugh..."

 

"Relax, Fan."

 

"It's her birthday today, Myeon."

 

"I told you not to call me that before."

 

"But it's cute..."

 

Junmyeon rolls his eyes, crossing his arms on his chest, looking away from his husband with a frown. "Jun? You're not mad, are you?" Junmyeon holds back the urge to smile and continues not to look at him, feigning anger. "Jun, I'm sorry. I won't call you that again. Look at me? Please?" Junmyeon mock sighs, giving in. He turns around to face the taller male, a frown still on his face.

 

"You better don't," He sees Yifan who's nodding obediently. Junmyeon takes a step close to him, a smirk decorating his lips, "Unless we're in the bedroom." He sees Yifan's cheeks are changing colors. Junmyeon lets out a soft laugh. He tiptoes to leave a quick peck on Yifan's nose. Yifan still can be cute even to this day. "Papa!! Dada!!" The pair hears a little girl's voice.

 

They look to their front and see a little girl running towards them happily, her ponytail cutely bouncing side to side. "Careful!" Junmyeon shouts from afar as the little girl almost trips on her feet. Both of them crouch on the ground as their five year-old daughter jumps into their arms. "Sophia missed Papa and Dadaaa..." The little girl whines and the parents coo at her.

 

Junmyeon carries little Sophia into his arms and Yifan fixes her hair, "We missed you too, lil' marshmallow." Sophia frowns up to Junmyeon curiously, "What's a marshwamaellow, Papa?" The pair lets out a chuckle as they hear her mispronouncing the word. "It's a candy's name. You want to get some candy? Dada will treat you lots of candy today!" Sophia's face brightens, "I want!! Let's go!!"

 

Yifan almost tears up at the adorable sight. He has never felt so grateful before in his life. Having a thoughtful husband. Having a cute daughter after both of them decided to adopt one a few months ago. Yifan feels so happy right now. So happy until he feels like crying. "Yifan? Are you okay?" Yifan quickly wipes the corner of his eyes with the back of his hands and smiles.

 

"Dada crying?"

 

Sophia reaches out her arms to her Dada almost immediately. Yifan carefully brings her into his own arms, "Dada is just so happy, baby." Junmyeon smiles. He feels so content just by looking at them both. He will never ever regret his decision by accepting Yifan into his life. Both of them suddenly look at each other and both smile, understanding their thoughts just by exchanging looks.

 

"Sophia is hungryyy..."

 

The adults chuckle before kissing on both of the whiny Sophia's chubby cheeks, making her to giggle cutely.

 

Yifan and Junmyeon will never regret anything.

 


End file.
